Thursday at the conference, Amy and I attended the "Joyfully Helping Your Husband" talk by Victoria Botkin. Here are the notes that I took ~
*Man needed a helper to help him fulfill his life mission, to help him with his life work. ref. Genesis 2:18
*The foundation of a woman's Biblical role of helper is submission.
*Men and women naturally slip into roles that are opposite of what God intended.
*We can have a tendency to maneuver our husbands into what we want.
*We are supposed to help our husbands do what God wants them to do not what we want them to do.
ref. Genesis 3:1-6
*What kind of mindset would help us to submit?
Submission = obedience to God ref. 1 Peter 3
God tells wives to submit to their OWN husbands (not to anyones elses husband. ref. Ephesians 5:22,24 and Col. 3:8
*The thing that makes submission doable~
We are to submit because our trust is in God ref. 1Peter 3:4-6, Luke 12:32, Isaiah 41:10, 2 Tim. 1:7
*Is Submission simple obedience to orders?
Submission is getting on board with your husband to help him carry out His plan.
He is the operator (final decision maker) you are the co-operator ref. Phil 2:14, Col 3:23
*Show respect to our husbands help them have confidence in all they do ref. James 3:5-10
*The most crucial way we can show respect is with our words ref. Mat.12:34-37, Prov. 14:1, Eph. 4:29
*As ambassadors of Christ, we must speak words of grace and words of life. ref. Prov. 31:10,11-31
*Publicize your husbands strengths not weaknesses. (ex. don't badmouth your husband to your girlfriends or family) Pour out your frustrations, disappointments, etc. to the Lord. ref. Neh. 8:10
*When submission is hard, cry out to the Lord for his strength & grace.
*To be a better helper ~ give up your own life ref. Matt. 16:25, John 12:24, Psalms 37:4
When you delight yourself in the Lord, the desires of your heart will change.
*Pray for your husbands ref. 1Thes. 5:16-18
*Give thanks for your husband
*Become interested in his interests
*Ask privately your questions to your husband (this is difficult sometimes to do because the circumstances may need a question right then)
*Set an example to the children of enthusiastic cooperation.
*How to help when he is wrong ref. Heb. 12:15, Eph. 4:31-32, 1Peter 3:1-2
Make sure its not your own attitude or bitterness making you think he is wrong ~( and yes, husbands can be wrong in thoughts or decisions ~ this is where having a close relationship with him and with the Lord come in handy...also having a husband who respects your opinion or input ~ but keep in mind, we all make mistakes, NO ONE is perfect)
*The secret of being able to joyfully help our husbands
Faith ref. Rom 10:17, Psalm 119:38
The Bible ~
Donna ~ I realize this is a "sticky" subject and not at all popular. The Biblical view of submission is not "He's the boss and I must do everything he says" ~ thats not anywhere in the Bible. It is a view of leadership in the home ~ Greg is our household leader, I am his co-leader/helper in our home. He definitely has preferences over how he wants stuff done, and I try to accomplish this..ex. dinner at a certain time, menu selection, tv viewing, etc. We discuss big purchases and things that come up day to day, he doesn't come home "lay down the law" or make big decisions and tell me what we are doing. Marriage is a partnership not a dictatorship. I make the daytime decisions, picked all the homeschool curriculum, do all the grocery shopping, set our schedule, etc. ~ he has a fulltime job, he doesn't need to worry about the little things. But if he needs something done by a certain time, then he lets me know and we get it done.