Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Christmas Cookies


If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookies is the test & thus calorie free.
If you eat a Christmas cookie while drinking a diet soda, the cookie has no calories because the diet soda cancel out the cookie calories.
If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Its calorie free...goes back to rule 1. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free also.
Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. this is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
Any calories consumed during the frosting of the cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.
Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have 3 and green ones have 5 ~ one calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!
Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate.

AND we all know how calories like to CLING.
Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. Its a rule.
So, go out and enjoy those Christmas Cookies ~ we only get them this time of year!
I can't claim credit for that brilliant piece of dietary rules...I copied it from an email my sister sent to me this morning.
However, let me reiterate and clarify a few things, just in case it didn't sink in..cookies have no calories if you eat during a movie, right out of the oven, with a friend, steal from anothers plate, are stressed, lick the icing knife, are broken or drink a diet drink.
This sounds like the beginning of a great new Christmas tradition to me...invite all your friends over to bake, decorate and consume. You eat off everyone else plate and no calories! And just to be safe...watch "Miracle on 34th Street"...better safe than sorry.
Changing from red to green was stressful...time to go find some Christmas cookies!
Happy Munching!!!!!

1 comment:

Welcome to the farm ~ we are a blended family with 7 children (3 are married), 4 grandsons, 5 dogs, 3 rabbits, and 15 chickens living on 3 acres in Georgia. I love crafting, sewing, cooking & canning, recipes of all kinds, reading, playing with my little buddies, family time, travel, pinterest and most of all the Lord.