A Proverb about Anger

Proverbs 29:22

An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression.

Anger ruins men. It is a curse on their lives. Anger causes fighting and sin. It is blinding and dangerous. An angry man cannot ignore offences (19:11). He reacts without thinking, which leads to fights (15:18). There is little peace to those around him, because he has either blown up recently or is likely to blow up soon. He reacts without thinking and says and does sinful things in the devilish heat of his foolish passion. He is a fool (14:29).

If you want peace and righteousness in your life, stay away from an angry man. His profane way of responding to life will corrupt your good manners (22:24-25). God have mercy on the poor woman who married an angry man, and God have mercy on the poor children born to an angry man. Their lives are cursed with the devilish heart of their husband or father, who is just as likely to lash out and hit them as love and hug them.

An angry man will lose his wife, children, and reputation. An angry man has little self-control, like an infant or a defenseless city (25:28; I Cor 3:1-3). His children wait for the day when they can leave home to find the peace and security he never gave them. Of course, angry men are too stupid to figure this until it is too late. Their children will not give many warnings, for they fear his wrath and blows. They nod and submit, despising their father in their heart, until they can leave and have a pleasant life without fear.

Before women think this proverb is not for them, remember that Solomon in Proverbs, like the rest of the Bible writers, often refers collectively to both sexes as a man. This proverb applies with at least equal force against angry women, for anger should be viewed as even further beneath a woman’s dignity and nature than those of a man. A member of the gentler sex known for anger and fury is surely a perversion of humanity.

Are you an angry man? Do you speak impulsively? Do you strike impulsively? Do you yell at your wife or children? Do you say harsh things that others question or condemn? Do others crave your presence? Are you known as a gracious or a difficult man? Do your wife and children tell you all they are thinking? Do you rule by intimidation or affection? Does your wife stay with you because she has to or wants to? Do your wife and children ever steer clear of you due to fear of your foul mood? Are you an angry man?

Are you an angry man? Do you get worked up over minor things? Does your intensity match situations or exceed them? Let others be the judge. What do they think? We can seldom see ourselves as we truly are. Are you able to ignore offences easily and quickly? Or are you prone to bitterness? Do you get emotionally involved where emotion should be strictly ruled? Do you flare up against criticism or correction? Can you thank a person quickly for calling you down for overreacting? Do you enjoy confrontations and look at them as projects? Do you turn minor differences into conflicts? Are you an angry man?

Are you an angry man? Measure by the number of close friends you have, for most men will avoid an angry man. Measure by the stability and duration of your past associations and relationships. Measure by how much your children desire to be with you, whether young or old. After all, they know you best, and they are the most forgiving. Measure by whether others consider you a critical person or a gentle and meek person? Measure by whether you are often at strife with others or never? Are you an angry man?

Anger has no virtue, except for those rare and holy occasions when righteous indignation erupts legitimately against ungodliness. Not all anger is sin, but the vast majority is sin (Eph 4:26)! And the horrible passions of most anger give place to the devil in your life (Eph 4:27)! The blessed God of heaven, Who is holy in all His ways, is angry and furious against His enemies (Nah 1:2-6). He burns in hot wrath against sin (Rev 19:15). The very meek Moses became angry (Ex 32:19). And even Jesus was angry (Mark 3:5).

However, anger without a just cause is a violation of the sixth commandment – “Thou shalt not kill” (Matt 5:21-22). It does not matter that you could not stop your anger; many murderers have tried the same excuse. It does not matter that you have a temperament prone to quick wrath – you are a weak man. Grow up! Stop being a child that throws temper tantrums! Get strong and rule your spirit (14:29; 16:32; Jas 1:19-20). “Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous” (27:4). Learn to love the wisdom of peace (Jas 3:14-18)!

The proverb teaches, “An angry man stirreth up strife.” Anger causes fighting (15:18). A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger (15:1). The angry man does not think before speaking or reacting, so he provokes anger and fighting where a conflict could have ended. Solomon’s son Rehoboam answered Israel harshly and lost ten of twelve tribes, for he provoked them to anger and enmity by his foolish conduct. It is impossible to fight with a pillow, and the man who defers his anger is a holy pillow.

The proverb teaches, “A furious man aboundeth in transgression.” Speaking or acting impulsively generally leads to sin. Angry men are too confused and enraged to examine and check their words or actions by wisdom. They merely react with the profane instincts of their depraved hearts, and sin is the certain result. Even Moses, generally a meek and patient man, allowed Israel to provoke him to speak unadvisedly with his lips and strike the rock God had told him to address (Ps 106:32-33). It is cool and calm reflection that leads to wisdom and prudence, not the passion and fury of anger.

Anger seldom works the righteousness of God (Jas 1:19-20). Therefore, you must learn to check its first risings in your soul. If you know of persons or situations that provoke you to anger, then either avoid them or prepare your defenses in advance. Learn to wait before allowing anger any expression. Let the fear of losing your wife, children, and reputation teach you the precious value of kindness, mercy, and patience. It is a glorious man that can defer anger (19:11). It is a great man that can rule his spirit (14:29; 16:32).

Parent, you must train this curse out of your children. There is no room for anger in how your children deal with each other, their friends, or with you. Require meekness, kindness, service, and reverence at all times. Do not allow that proud and selfish rage that destroys souls and families. And neither can you allow that sullen and withdrawn fury that burns deeper and longer. All bitterness and grudges must be found and destroyed.

God has ordered you to reject all bitterness, wrath, anger, and malice (Eph 4:31). These sins are totally unacceptable to the blessed God and the Christian religion. They will lead to fighting, strife, and other sins that have no right in your life. In their place you are to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving of others. And what is the motive and standard for this unnatural behavior? God’s treatment of you in Christ Jesus (Eph 4:32)!